January 30, 2011

Day 27

A problem that you have had:

I have always had a major social anxiety of dancing in public. I absolutely refuse to move even if I'm dragged into the middle of a dance floor. I went to Vegas last month with my boyfriend and without him knowing much about it at the time, he became upset with me when we went to a club and I refused to move. He was dancing around me trying to have a good time and I just looked around nervously. When I'm put into a situation where I feel I may be encouraged to dance, ie: at a club, it feels like everyone is starring at me and I freak out. I think that this anxiousness comes from my own distaste for watching other girls dance or do whatever it is that they call dancing. Grinding up on a guy is not dancing, that is sex with your clothes on. No one really dances anymore if it isn't to show off their bodies and since I am not comfortable wearing skanky dresses, I feel like that is what is expected of me. So when I am asked to dance, I feel like someone is asking me to get all raunchy on some strangers and stop being myself for a night. Granted, I understand that its fun to let go every once in a while, but can't I do it in a way that I feel comfortable? I'm perfectly fine with running up and down the streets screaming my head off laughing even if people are starring at me, because I know that I'm being myself. Also, I know that my friends are like me and would do the same. But when it comes to dancing in public, no thank you. I've had this problem ever since I started highschool. I would always love going to the school dances, but would always just enjoy myself by walking through the crods of people constantly and back and forth. I even had friends that would do it with me. When it comes to dancing, choreographed dancing is fine with me, because technically, its someone else's moves, but when it comes to showing everyone what I have to offer in that arena, I freeze up. Its still a problem for me. Unless slow dancing. Every one slow dances the same at least.

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