Hard to Admit and Harder to Escape
by Sarah Manguso
"I listen to music as I work, sometimes taking breaks to sing, depending on my mood and on the songs I choose from the small device that plays any of five thousand songs according to my wishes. I change the music frequently, sensing what I need to hear in order to work most efficiently. Sometimes I see a deer walk past the window in front of my desk. It is always a lovely surprise to see a deer as I work. My fingers move fast on the keyboard and on the tiny controls of the small device. In my distraction as I work and twiddle with the two machines I think for a moment I would like to press the button that makes the deer walk by."